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« 100 Days of Gratitude - Day Seventeen- Twitter | Main | 100 Days of Gratitude - Day Fifteen- Liberty Hill Auto »
Wednesday
Feb092011

100 Days of Gratitude - Day Sixteen - My divorce

Today I'm thankful for my divorce.

If I hadn't gotten divorced from my first wife I would have never have met the true love of my life. I'd have never had the opportunity to meet Kim (we met AFTER the divorce). I'd have never gotten the support to start the businesses I've started, write the books I've written or trained with the people I've trained with. I am a better person, living a better life because I was forced into divorce.

I heard someone once refer to a man's first marriage as a "Trial Marriage" - to figure out what you wanted and didn't want from a relationship. Sounds like exactly what I got. Second time around I didn't settle - I got everything I wanted from a relationship and more.

What's my point?

If you are miserable in a relationship, know when it's time to move on. It may feel like the world is ending (it did to me), but it's not. Cut your losses. If you are miserable, work on making it not miserable, if you can't work it out so you’re not miserable - get out and move on. I assure you, there is someone for everyone. Life is much too short to not be happy as much of your life as is possible.

When motivational speaker Tony Robbins got divorced I heard a lot of people giving him a hard time about it (mostly comics), but in reality, he was practicing what he preaches - try to work things out, if you can't, make adjustments so you can be happy. He says the definition of insanity is "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

If you're having troubles with your spouse try to work things out - you didn't enter marriage lightly - don't leave it lightly. Seek counseling through a professional, through your clergy, talk to each other, write letters/notes to each other, and certainly don't start talking over your problems with another man or woman - this will NOT turn out well. If you've gone through all of that and you still can't make it work - cut your losses and move on.

Don't stay together because your parents will be disappointed, or for the kids, or your pastor, or because the bible says you should. Don't stay together if you are miserable. Again, life's too short.

I have a friend (he knows who he is) who is in a loveless relationship. When I ask why they stay together he says it's for the kids. He has daughters. Think of the lesson that he's unintentionally sending to his daughters... it's OK to be married to someone you don't love, that you don't do anything with and who you basically avoid. Set your KIDS up for successful relationships by having successful relationships!

I hope this doesn't offend anyone. That's not my intent. It's also not my intent to advocate divorce. I'm just saying that SOMETIMES, it's the right decision.

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